Still Here, Still Healing

Lately, I’ve been sitting with a part of my shadow that feels relentless. Familiar. Deeply embedded. It’s not new. It’s not surprising. But it’s still here—and I’m so very tired of it.

I’ve already met this wound in ceremony. Spoken to it in dreams. Written letters to it in my journal. I’ve cried with it. Breathed with it. Tried to outsmart it. Tried to love it into dissolving. And still, it lingers. Not in the same way—but in the way that reminds me: this isn’t over.

And here’s the truth I keep bumping into, again and again: I want it to be over. I want to be done. I want to move on. I don’t want to hold space for the same pain I’ve already danced with ten times over. There’s a part of me that resents the repetition, that still secretly hopes the next session, the next breakthrough, will be the one that clears it for good.

But healing doesn’t work like that. Not real healing. Not the kind that touches your nervous system and rewrites ancestral patterns and unhooks you from soul-level beliefs. That kind of work is slow. Cyclical. Nonlinear. It moves like water—not like fire. It doesn’t burn it all away in one go. It softens. Seeps. Deepens.

And honestly? I’m weary of the way spiritual spaces sell transformation. The language of instant relief, seven-day shifts, quantum leaps that bypass the body. I’m not interested in work that promises I’ll be “cleared” by Sunday. Because I know that’s not how integration works. I know this path is messy. Repetitive. Sacred in its slowness.

What I’m learning—again—is that there are no quick fixes. Not for the soul. Not for the body. Not for the stories that are still unravelling inside us. And that doesn’t mean we’re broken. It means we’re human.

So this is your reminder (and mine): If you’re tired of facing the same thing again, if you’re circling back to a wound that you thought was healed, that doesn’t mean you’re regressing. It means the spiral is working. It means you’re touching it with a little more capacity than last time. It means the work is still unfolding—and you’re showing up for it.

You don’t need to be done to be healing. You don’t need to be clear to be powerful. You just need to be honest. And here.